


the bee movie but its klance and my keyboard isnt working

by Ghostilly



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2018-09-12 00:27:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9047786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghostilly/pseuds/Ghostilly
Summary: Lance, a bee just graduated from college, is disillusioned at his lone career choice: making honey. On a special trip outside the hive, Lance's life is saved by Keith, a florist in New York City. As their relationship blossoms, he discovers humans actually eat honey, and subsequently decides to sue them.





	1. Chapter 1

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.  
"Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little," lance said pulling the sweater from his closet.  
"Lance! Breakfast is ready!" yelled Allura- his not m om but just lady bee who he lives with and insists on keeping his life in check so he d oesnt go fuck a hu manor something.  
"coming! Hang on a second" the beeutiful buzzing bee shouts putting some honey which healso uses for all of hisot herhy gene products into his mou th. ring ring its the telephone calling  
"Hello?" comes voice, "lance"  
"hUnk?"  
"can u beelieve this is happening?" asks hunk, the beest friend of l onc.  
"I can't. I'll pick you up." lance flies down the stairs and allura has an aneurysm beecause coran spent aproxamently 13 thousand bollars (bee dollars) on them. she yells. and throws like i dunno like a rock at him and speedy qui c he leaves the ouse in his lance mobile to pick up hunk who can fly they both can fly but who needs flying when you have cars. Bee Cars.  
"Hey, Hunk, you beeutiful grazing deer in the mid morning sun"  
"Hey, Lance"  
"Is that fuzz gel?"  
"A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive."  
i got confused whoops  
"You did come back different." hunk confirmed in the Lance Mobile  
"hi, Lance" greeted some side character  
"pidge, growing a mustache? Looks good." said i dont know who its up to you.  
"Hear about Bee Keith?" aksed Hunk  
"Yeah"  
"You going to the funeral?"  
"No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead" lance stated very insesitively its a dead bee and hes beeing rude Bee Keith is going to come back and haunt his ass hole.  
"I guess he could have just gotten out of the way"  
Wicca wicca woo they drive on a loopy loop which isnt FDA approved and hunk throws up on his sweater already allura's spagetti "I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances." said hunk wiping the vomit from his mouth "Well, Hunk, today we are men." "Aye we are!" "Bee-men." "No stop thats disgusting don't talk to me like that" After like three minutes they get to the graduating place and theres four other people so they get to sit where ever and they do. "Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Alfor" "Welcome, New Hive city graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries!" The five people cheer and throw their hats off and ts just ike High School Musical 3 "Will we pick ourjob today?" Hunk asks "I heard it's just orientation." lance confirms. ok so shit gets smooky here they get into this car thing with other bees and they talk about jobs and how honey is made and lance almost shits himself then they make an incest joke that isnt funny and the seinfield theme song plays. Then lance has a small existential crisis and- "but, hunk, how could they never have told us that?" "Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth." Hunk tries to calm down him. " You ever think maybe things work a little too well here?" "Like what? Give me one example." yhey stand in the middle of traffic and miraculously dont get hit not once. "I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about." "Wait a second," saysance, "Oheck it out" he exclaims pointing to some hot rippled bee babes "hey, those are Pollen Jocks!" "Wow. I've never seen them this close. its like i can almost breathe in their hot musk" lance says dreamily, "they know what it's like outside the hive" "Yeah, but some don't come back." points out hunk as they make their way to the beemans "Hey, Jocks! Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!" lance cries


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lance makes some bad decisions and next up hunk is gonna have an aneurysm jfc

"I wonder where they were." asks hunk  
" I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symb-"  
"lance, lance stop fucking nutting over some buff frickin bees. like i get it, theyre big and buff but so am i and you only sometimes shit yourself over me" hunk interupts his beeff's ramble.  
"i only sometimes shit my self over you beecause i see you like literally everyday shut ur mouth boi" he snaps back, he then somehow pulls out a shit ton of pollen out of his pocket (bee pocket) despite never being out od the hive so he probs got it from a back ally dealer selling it for a handjob (he totally did it) ((a dudes gotta get his share somewhere)) then he rubs it all over hsi chest while hunk looks at him in horro but lance doesnt care, oh no lance see two lady bees and lance beeing lance is gonna try an fuck em  
its what he does  
and beecause he lvoes hunk he sensually rubs the pollen all over hunk too. tje two lady bees see the pollen covered bees and stripper walk over two them hopin to get some stinger  
"must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock." says one of them winking with both eyes at them  
"Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me!" says lance a lil too enthusiastically and hunk wonders if lance is describing the beeginning of a porno  
"Oh, my!"  
"I never thought I'd knock him out" oh yeah hunk definitely knows that was the beeginging of a porno (spoiler the bee bangs the bear so hard he passes out)  
"What were you doing during this?" the other bee ladie turned to hunk  
"cheering him on" he says playing along beecause hes a good friend and has lances back 24/7. onr of the lady bees rips off her wings and hands it to lance  
"pls autograph"  
"anything for u bby" he nuts and uses his nut to write 'shiro loves u bby' on it then hands it back to glenda.  
glenda accidentally touches his hand and cascadia's Every Time We Touch blasts  
she then passes out and her friend waves them goodbye and drags her by the hair away.  
a pollen jock (bee shiro) sees the pollen on them and knows something is up right away beecause hes not an idiot but hes a real good dude and doesnt out them but instead tries to make convorsation  
"A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades?" he asks smiling at them and lance almost cries this man is so beautif and nice and muscular and honestly??? ges in love??????? hes busting the biggest nut of 2016  
"Yeah. Gusty." he plays off cooly he lovs the jocks  
" We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow" bee shiro says  
"Six miles, huh?"  
"lance!"  
"A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it." bee shito says good naturely  
lance misreads the entire situation "Maybe I am." lance winks  
" You are not!" says the voice of reason, hunk  
"We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think? are you good? is it too much? you dont have to if you dont want to its all up to you i mean" bee shiro rambles and ah yes hes the Dad Friend, lance realizes  
"I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means." lance only knows a few things and math is not one of them, beecause he is only a bee  
then bee shiro waves em off and hunk wants to die go out like bee keith did (rest in peace) then beep beep its job time and they go to pick up something i lost my rain of thought yada yada he waves hunk good bye and suddenly that one scene where he talks to his parents on the sky padio (i forgot the word for it woophs)

"Hey, Honex!" yells coran who is suddenly alive again and he does that one thing where he jumps and lands next to lance like in the one episode where wanna bee rover blows up  
"Dad, i mean Coran, you scared the shit outtakes me."  
" You decide what you're interested in?" asks dad i amean coran  
" Well, there's a lot of choices. But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day?"  
"Son," he says like ron swanson and it startles everyone including human keef no one knows why he hears it but he do,  
"let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing." dad says and all lance can think about is dicks but he aint about to tell no one bout that  
"You know, corn, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me."  
" You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a pretty cool. Janet, your son wants to make balloons! yipee!"  
"lance, you are so funny sometimes" says allura, fully recovered from her annyeurism  
" I'm not trying to be funny" he cries like honey is leakin from his looking spheres  
"You're not funny! You're going into honey." allura says firmlu  
" Our son, the stirrer!" coran cheers  
"You're gonna be a stirrer?" she aaks  
"No one's listening to me!" Lance exclaims felling the teen angst leak out of him. he feels like bee keith. (he want death)  
"Wait till you see the sticks I have!"  
"I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!"  
"why an ant?" someone calls from bellow  
"Let's open some honey and celebrate!" allura says happily. dang, she hap  
" Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!" lance makes the signlanguage signal for forrest but he thinks it means something cool  
" I'm so proud." and they all passout right there beecause the hive was smoked but everyone just thinks its the night gas sleep juice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theres no commercial breaks to the bee movie so i gotta make my own b4 i pass the heck out


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :^)

Read more: Mann - Buzzin' Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

MANN  
Buzzin' Lyrics  
New! Tap highlighted lyrics to add Meanings, Special Memories, and Misheard Lyrics...

Listen to Mann On Amazon Music Unlimited.  
Advisory - the following lyrics contain explicit language:

Man, I feel like money  
They're attracted to me  
They come around like honey  
'Cause I'm fly like a bee

Man, I got 'em all buzzin', buzzin', buzzin', buzzin'  
Like da, da, da, da, da, da, da  
Man, I got the world buzzin', buzzin', buzzin', buzzin'  
Like da, da, da, da, da, da, da

Uh, back up to back up in the mix like that  
And I know ya like it when it's just like that  
All the girlies just love my swag  
From my kicks to the way I fix my hat

I'm, back, fresh like some new J's  
Brodie got next NBA to pay, I'm too paid  
Shaded with some ladies  
Reppin' my city, West L.A., baby

West L.A. made me this way  
Two rule, stay fresh, homie get paid  
Hey, never broke and never bummy  
I'm from where it's forever sunny

Lyrics continue below

PAID CONTENTAdd STARZ for $8/mo  
FEATURED VIDEO8 Things You Didn't Know About DrakeFEATURED VIDEOWhat's That Line?FEATURED VIDEO12 Hit Songs You Won't Believe Were Passed Up By Other ArtistsFEATURED VIDEO8 More Hilarious Misheard Lyrics About Food

 

MANN  
Buzzin' Lyrics  
New! Tap highlighted lyrics to add Meanings, Special Memories, and Misheard Lyrics...

Listen to Mann On Amazon Music Unlimited.  
Advisory - the following lyrics contain explicit language:

Man, I feel like money  
They're attracted to me  
They come around like honey  
'Cause I'm fly like a bee

Man, I got 'em all buzzin', buzzin', buzzin', buzzin'  
Like da, da, da, da, da, da, da  
Man, I got the world buzzin', buzzin', buzzin', buzzin'  
Like da, da, da, da, da, da, da

Uh, back up to back up in the mix like that  
And I know ya like it when it's just like that  
All the girlies just love my swag  
From my kicks to the way I fix my hat

I'm, back, fresh like some new J's  
Brodie got next NBA to pay, I'm too paid  
Shaded with some ladies  
Reppin' my city, West L.A., baby

West L.A. made me this way  
Two rule, stay fresh, homie get paid  
Hey, never broke and never bummy  
I'm from where it's forever sunny

Lyrics continue below

PAID CONTENTAdd STARZ for $8/mo  
FEATURED VIDEO8 Things You Didn't Know About DrakeFEATURED VIDEOWhat's That Line?FEATURED VIDEO12 Hit Songs You Won't Believe Were Passed Up By Other ArtistsFEATURED VIDEO8 More Hilarious Misheard Lyrics About Food  
Man, I feel like money  
They're attracted to me  
They come around like honey  
'Cause I'm fly like a bee

Man, I got 'em all buzzin', buzzin', buzzin', buzzin'  
Like da, da, da, da, da, da, da  
Man, I got the world buzzin', buzzin', buzzin', buzzin'  
Like da, da, da, da, da, da, da

When I come around, 'round, 'round  
They go  
Yeah, yeah, it's going down, down, down  
They go

New cat with a old school feel  
Only new artist with a old school deal  
Tied the game by Steve Lobell  
So we always win, don't receive no help

New girls act like they know me so well  
But I shows no love and be like, oh, well  
When my album drops, sure as hell gon' sell  
Stack cash and laugh like LOL

Man, I feel like money  
They're attracted to me  
They come around like honey  
'Cause I'm fly like a bee

Man, I got 'em all buzzin', buzzin', buzzin', buzzin'  
Like da, da, da, da, da, da, da  
Man, I got the world buzzin', buzzin', buzzin', buzzin'  
Like da, da, da, da, da, da, da

When I come around, 'round, 'round  
They go  
Yeah, when I come around, 'round, 'round  
They go

When I step in yo town, town, town  
They go  
Yeah, yeah, it's going down, down, down  
They go

Yeah, yeah, shawty in my ear  
Saying all the things that I wanna hear  
Buzzin'

And as the night ends  
I'ma have her and get all her friends  
Buzzin'

Okay, hands in the air, yeah  
From the back to the front, everywhere  
Buzzin'

Throwin' out 20's  
Throwin' out hundreds  
Ladies gotta love it

Man, I feel like money  
They're attracted to me  
They come around like honey  
'Cause I'm fly like a bee

 

MANN  
Buzzin' Lyrics  
New! Tap highlighted lyrics to add Meanings, Special Memories, and Misheard Lyrics...

Listen to Mann On Amazon Music Unlimited.  
Advisory - the following lyrics contain explicit language:

Man, I feel like money  
They're attracted to me  
They come around like honey  
'Cause I'm fly like a bee

Man, I got 'em all buzzin', buzzin', buzzin', buzzin'  
Like da, da, da, da, da, da, da  
Man, I got the world buzzin', buzzin', buzzin', buzzin'  
Like da, da, da, da, da, da, da

Uh, back up to back up in the mix like that  
And I know ya like it when it's just like that  
All the girlies just love my swag  
From my kicks to the way I fix my hat

I'm, back, fresh like some new J's  
Brodie got next NBA to pay, I'm too paid  
Shaded with some ladies  
Reppin' my city, West L.A., baby

West L.A. made me this way  
Two rule, stay fresh, homie get paid  
Hey, never broke and never bummy  
I'm from where it's forever sunny

Lyrics continue below

PAID CONTENTAdd STARZ for $8/mo  
FEATURED VIDEO8 Things You Didn't Know About DrakeFEATURED VIDEOWhat's That Line?FEATURED VIDEO12 Hit Songs You Won't Believe Were Passed Up By Other ArtistsFEATURED VIDEO8 More Hilarious Misheard Lyrics About Food  
Man, I feel like money  
They're attracted to me  
They come around like honey  
'Cause I'm fly like a bee

Man, I got 'em all buzzin', buzzin', buzzin', buzzin'  
Like da, da, da, da, da, da, da  
Man, I got the world buzzin', buzzin', buzzin', buzzin'  
Like da, da, da, da, da, da, da

When I come around, 'round, 'round  
They go  
Yeah, yeah, it's going down, down, down  
They go

New cat with a old school feel  
Only new artist with a old school deal  
Tied the game by Steve Lobell  
So we always win, don't receive no help

New girls act like they know me so well  
But I shows no love and be like, oh, well  
When my album drops, sure as hell gon' sell  
Stack cash and laugh like LOL

Man, I feel like money  
They're attracted to me  
They come around like honey  
'Cause I'm fly like a bee

Man, I got 'em all buzzin', buzzin', buzzin', buzzin'  
Like da, da, da, da, da, da, da  
Man, I got the world buzzin', buzzin', buzzin', buzzin'  
Like da, da, da, da, da, da, da

When I come around, 'round, 'round  
They go  
Yeah, when I come around, 'round, 'round  
They go

When I step in yo town, town, town  
They go  
Yeah, yeah, it's going down, down, down  
They go

Yeah, yeah, shawty in my ear  
Saying all the things that I wanna hear  
Buzzin'

And as the night ends  
I'ma have her and get all her friends  
Buzzin'

Okay, hands in the air, yeah  
From the back to the front, everywhere  
Buzzin'

Throwin' out 20's  
Throwin' out hundreds  
Ladies gotta love it

Man, I feel like money  
They're attracted to me  
They come around like honey  
'Cause I'm fly like a bee

Man, I got 'em all buzzin', buzzin', buzzin', buzzin'  
Like da, da, da, da, da, da, da  
Man, I got the world buzzin', buzzin', buzzin', buzzin'  
Like da, da, da, da, da, da, da

When I come around, 'round, 'round  
They go  
Yeah, when I come around, 'round, 'round  
They go

When I step in yo town, town, town  
They go  
Yeah, yeah, it's going down, down, down  
They go

Song Discussions is protected by U.S. Patent 9401941. Other patents pending

Writer(s): Carlos Battey, Steve Battey, Dijon Thames, Jonathan Rotem, John Smith

~~~ 

lance bolted up from his spot on the couch looking around he noticed he was in the castle of lions. he looked down at his body slapping his torso and was genuinly suprisefthat he had a human body. he slumped down on the couch with a big sigh  
"oh thank god I couldn't handle beeing a bee they only live for 28 days and if have to bee a virgin forever or nut and imediatly die after fuvking the queen ://" he thought to himself. then he rested his head back on the couch and tried not to think about living as a bee and bestialitythat his dream would imply if he stayed asleepp. goodnight 12 year old boy

the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been literal years since this started and I honestly forgot about this fic lol. so my sense of humour has changed and now that it's 2 years later and I'm tipsy I don't want to think about this again. 
> 
> also 2 things 1) the bee movie is now a dead meme and I don't want to beat a dead horse and 2) a bee au belongs to the sheith and they are so sweet I love it. 
> 
>  
> 
> I have a lot of other reasons why I don't want to continue this like I have other projects I'm working on and honestly? this was a joke fix from the start but now I can't see Keith with anyone else but shiro even in a joking way :// sorry lads... gn boys,

**Author's Note:**

> i gave up i might add more later but its christmas who knows


End file.
